Republicans In Romneyville

It should come as no surprise that yesterday’s positive jobs report was greeted by Republicans with yet another conspiracy theory.  Nonetheless, a sizable chunk of the media and the electorate are still convinced that Mitt Romney is somehow antithetical to the crazy that now dominates the GOP–as opposed to proudly playing the flute at the head of the procession.

The fact is, as of October 2012, Republicans are in Romneyville.

Once Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan made the choice to rid their campaign of facts and drown the electorate in a muddy tidal wave of focus-group-tested lies, it wasn’t long until the rest of the GOP marched arm-in-arm inside the gates of Romneyville.

If adherents of the previous incarnation of the GOP leapt blithely from conspiracy theory to hair-brained conspiracy theory, the Romneyville Republicans have dispatched with leaping altogether.  They just soak endlessly in a giant hot-tub of steaming, bubbling fact-lessness.  If they so much as a stand up, the cold wind of facts sends them dropping immediately back down into the tub.


Thus, a jobs report comes out and the lemmings stand up momentarily to catch a glimpse of it, then dive back down into the water.

Think about this for a second: Did last week’s jobs report include horrible news about the economy? Was it filled with data showing more and more people losing work, such that normal people would get upset just thinking about the suffering of the unemployed?

Oh, no, no–Romneyville Republicans do not react negatively to bad news.  They react negatively to good news.  America is doing better…more jobs…finally, some hope for the future–how awful!


And this is what those of us who are not locked inside the gates of Romneyville can expect from now until November.

Every scrap of positive economic news will be met with conspiracy theories about the Obama administration cooking the books.

Every poll that confirms Obama lead by a narrow margin will be refuted as a sign of bias.

Every act of US diplomacy will be maligned as thinly disguised treason, apologizing for America, plots to destroy Israel.

What a fun ride it will be!

The best part, of course, will be the election itself–which will inevitably be decided by close results in three or four states.

If Obama wins those states, every single outcome will be bombarded by accusations of election fraud by the Republicans of Romneyville.  And every single attempt to convince them that the election was fair, will be met by theories about a vast Obama conspiracy in every state.


The Republicans of Romneyville will not dispute the facts of the economy, the facts of world affairs, or the facts of the election. They will refuse to participate in any conversation that includes facts.

Romney is not a victim of these events.  He is the pied piper of this moment.

Welcome to Romneyville. Come on in, the water’s fine.

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